Forget Captain America. Here comes CAPTAIN CHINA!!!!

This looks like an awesome comic book.
I want one.

Russian Justice

Yet another funny compilation of kids answering very grown up questions.
with very funny results.

Skrillex, Reviewed By Cute Kids

A bunch of austere British kids review Skrillex’s dubstep masterpiece “Bangarang,” and their responses are a riot.
The hands-down best review: “We. Rowdy. What is that?”
(via TDW)

I Love Scotland

So um, this exists

What a deal

What a deal!!!!
I get 12 cents back? No wait 10? 15?

No Electric Toothbrush? No Problem.

Praise The Lord...With Money

The Lock Cup

INSANE INDEED

Nothing is free

Get Your Rods Out

Future is Secure

This is a 6th grader's paper on Uruguay.
The future is secure with kids like this.
He will make a great foreign minister.

GO GREEN!!!!

WOW enviromentalism just got interesting and worth doing.

SMILE TRAINER

Do you look like a retard when you smile?
Worry no longer.
Asia has the answer.
Most of you will still look retarded afterwards, alas they have not invented the ugly trainer yet.

be proactive

Sure we can help with the acne, but the ugly and stupidity you seem to be suffering from is beyond our control.
The proactiv crew

For that special someone

Those Tena Ladies are getting fashionable.
WOOOHOOO!!!!
Imagine how much time you can save by just shitting yourself.
You know the time you spend on the toilet is just wasted anyway.

Give yourself a pat on the back

Only in Greece

Greece's island of the 'blind' revealed

Nick Squires

Nearly 2 per cent of people on the Ionian island of Zakynthos claimed they were blind.

EVEN by the extravagant standards of Greek corruption, the scam uncovered by Stelios Bozikis is so brazen it is hard to credit.
Nearly 600 people on the Ionian island of Zakynthos - where Mr Bozikis was recently elected mayor - had themselves falsely declared blind to obtain state benefits.
They included taxi drivers, shopkeepers and restaurant owners. ''Out of 650 registered blind people on the island, we estimate that at least 600 are fraudulent claims,'' the mayor said. That represents nearly 2 per cent of the island's population of 35,000 - nearly 10 times the average rate of blindness in Europe.

The claimants were receiving monthly payments of at least €350 ($A442). Those who supposedly needed carers received more.
The mayor, a member of the socialist PASOK party, has suspended all benefit payments until it can be independently established who needs a white cane.
The move was met with strong opposition, culminating in a recent council meeting that was stormed by about 50 claimants, who threw eggs and pots of yoghurt at the mayor. ''I consider it a badge of honour,'' said Mr Bozikis.
Known to the Venetians during the heyday of their trading empire as ''the flower of the Levant'', Zakynthos is now mocked as ''the island of the blind'' by the media.
Fraudulent benefit claims, including bogus cases of leprosy, cost Greece €111 million last year, according to the government. Nearly one in six disability allowances were found to be fraudulent.
Mr Bozikis alleged the head ophthalmologist at the local hospital, Nikolaos Vartzelis, falsely diagnosed people as blind in exchange for money.
The claims were allegedly signed off by Dionysios Gasparos, who was governor of the island, in exchange for votes. Both men denied the allegations.
Dr Vartzelis, who stepped down from his post last month, said he had been ''lenient but within the limits of the law'' towards people who ''didn't have bread to eat''.
He accused the mayor of ''political games'' to undermine Mr Gasparos, of the conservative New Democracy party.
Telegraph

Every Persons Fantasy

The Kama Sutra of Sleeping

Here is a funny and all too true cartoon from the folks at Chaoslife Comics.

Uses for a CHIHUAHUA

This post is for my friends who have dogs so small they are barely dogs. Cute though

Fast Food Fusion

(VIA TDW)

Some Middle Eastern Pizza Hut locations are now serving “Crown Crust” pizzas with a regal ring of cheeseburgers or chicken tenders cooked right into the crust.
It’s two great tastes that devastate your digestive system great together!
It looks like the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell was just the first step down a slippery slope toward the eventual fast food singularity.

SHIT I GOT IT TOO!!!!!

51 Christian Friendly Words for Vagina

Could you please use one of the following Christian friendly words below instead.

1. Puff Pillow
2. Fish Cave
3. Baby Door
4. Eve’s Tunnel
5. Satan’s Doorbell (Clitoral muscle)
6. Reverse Blowhole
7. Skin Wand Scarf
8. Egg Crate
9. Bullet Wound
10. Sin Flower
11. Moist Camel Hump
12. Harpy Nest
13. Canker Blossom
14. Silk Barnacle
15. Flap Dragon
16. Clapper Claw
17. Birth Cavern
18. Flesh Wrap
19. DNA Catcher
20. Frothy Creek
21. Satan’s Trap
22. Sin Muscle
23. Folded Flesh Leaf
24. Harpoon Target
25. Slurpin’ Salmon
26. Devil’s Fun Slide
27. Ovary Hallway
28. Whispering Eye
29. Secret Fish Forest
30. Cat in The Hat
31. Sin Sliver
32. Devil Sponge
33. Baby Portal
34. Warm Potato
35. Snake Trap
36. Blood Sewer
37. Twaddle Dandy
38. Magic Crepe
39. Satan’s Rose Bud
40. Clack-dish
41. Neighbor of Anus
42. Pink Jello Box
43. Rank Weasel
44. Stripped Monkey
45. Front Business
46. Man’s Gift
47. Wizard Sleeve
48. The Liquid Slip
49. Fleshy Fault Line
50. Pink Velveeta Shell
51. The Pubic Pub

51 Christian Friendly Words for Penis

I have noticed a lot of vulgar usage of the word “penis” on social websites and would ask if you could please use one of the following Christian friendly words below instead. Also, please refer to the “vagina” article, so you can educate yourself on proper vaginal terms.

1. Satan scepter
2. God’s pinky finger
3. Twiddle rompus
4. Twaddle stick
5. Flesh sword
6. Rod of life
7. DNA rifle
8. Colorado spitting viper
9. Master dangle
10. Tadpole torpedo
11. Life muscle
12. Fleshy Roman spear
13. Sin stick
14. Johnson’s little fishing buddy
15. Love lure
16. Dwaddle vein
17. Zulu chucking spear (this is for black people)
18. Sin snake
19. Squirt dart
20. Malt-worm
21. Puking flesh weasel
22. Unmuzzled wagtail
23. Beefy apple-Johnny
24. Moses’ staff
25. Pommel horse
26. Fat-kidney bean
27. God’s harpoon
28. Tickle dangus
29. Danish dizzy eye
30. Henry’s knob
31. Temptation wand
32. Mister Thomas
33. Roman pike
34. Baker’s rolling pin
35. Satan’s shovel
36. Micheal’s short arm
37. Secret lollipop
38. Trap-stick
39. Demon capped hankle (for non-circumcised males)
40. Magic tobacco pipe
41. Pan’s flute
42. Cupid’s arrow
43. Vaginal plug
44. Venus ruler
45. Oozing whistle
46. Meat banana
47. Gobble missile
48. Tangy tart trombone
49. City slicker
50. Musky man candy
51. Drizzle spout

WORST TEACHER EVER

Shut up and, uh, take my money?

Finally a product that lets me imagine what it's like to breastfeed well into my thirties.
Also it helps make getting together with your mom even more uncomfortable than usual.

Really? You had to lead off with that planet?

Yummmm ASS flavoured chocolates.

Very poor choice in Advertising

MITSBISHBISHI

Let's all take a ride  in my new mitsbish----what the fuck???

first world problem fixed

Good point I guess...

so this exists

Meanwhile in Japan

The perfect gift

The perfect gift - Imgur

Men vs Women: Colors

Friendship, Men Vs Women

Friendship Among Women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. Not one of them knew anything about it.

Friendship Among Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

Men vs Women. THE SHOWER

Part 1: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned Laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, Cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror * make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, Long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage Shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub For 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut And jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown And towel on head. If you see husband along the way, Cover up any exposed areas.
Part 2: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of The bed And leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, Shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and Let the water rinse the snot off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because Curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat On floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener At her and make the woo-woo sound again.
Throw wet towel on her pillow.

The Lion King’s Box Office Record

This week, The Lion King surpassed The Phantom of the Opera as Broadway’s all-time highest grossing show.
The Disney musical has grossed $853,846,062 while the Phantom, which opened almost ten years before The Lion King, has made a total of $853,122,847.
The Lion King was able to outdo the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical because it’s housed in a slightly larger theater, and the show’s tickets are more expensive than the average Broadway show.
[via AP]

Reporter gets pelted with eggs and some yoghurt

I need a translation for this sooooo bad.

The infamous double side wedgie