Excommunication Communiqué of the Day: I'm pretty sure God didn't ok this memo.

I'm not a religious person but I'm quite sure only the Pope can excommunicate you.

An unfortunate soul received this letter from the controversial Pastor Burke Shade after deciding to leave the Carbondale, Illinois-based Cornerstone Reformed Church.
“In obedience to his command, we are handing you over to Satan and his kingdom of darkness…”
TIP: If you’re trying to convince someone to return to your church, try not to make the alternative sound so damn cool.